Ilana Glazer: You dont get to kiss another persons baby or bite their thighs
Ilana Glazer is promoting her Apple plus comedy series, The Afterparty, with Tiffany Haddish, Dave Franco, Ben Schwartz and Sam Richardson. It’s about a murder at a high school reunion. Ilana explained in an appearance on The Tonight Show that the show crosses genres. I haven’t subscribed to Apple + since my trial ran out at the end of last year, but this sounds fun. (I also want to see CODA with Marlee Matlin.) Ilana is most famous for Broad City, although I know her more as an Internet personality. She co-hosted the Met Gala red carpet last year with Keke Palmer and we’ve never gossiped about her, which is usually good news for a celebrity. She was funny and engaging with Fallon, particularly when she was talking about her baby. Ilana has a six-month-old daughter with her husband of five years, David Rooklin. I can’t find the baby’s name or any photos of her, so I’m including photos of random other celebrity babies to fawn over. Here’s some of what Ilana told Fallon and her interview is here.
On her six-month-old baby
She’s so creamy dreamy. We call her a twinkle filled with breastmilk. She’s chunky, I’m nibbling, I’m kissing. You have a baby to bite the thighs. You don’t get to kiss another person’s baby on the mouth, that’s bizarre and you don’t get to bite other people’s baby’s thighs.
On her high school experience and drug use
I went to high school in Long Island… with like 2,500 kids. I knew 2% of my class.
I was actually in an anti-drug club called The Positive Edge. You did the [club] to cut class and teach fourth and sixth graders not to do drugs and it’s lies. We’re telling them ‘don’t do drugs’ as we’re starting to experiment with drugs. It was like the D.A.R.E. program, did that work? We had a cop come and tell us how bad drugs were and how some bad guy’s gonna sell you drugs. The truth is that your friends sell you drugs. That’s who’s pushing it.
She’s not wrong about your friends being the ones selling you drugs in high school. I worry about teenagers now that even marijuana can get contaminated with fentanyl. There’s a whole supply chain for drugs, although there are plenty of states where marijuana is legal and can be obtained that way.
The stuff she said about her baby was cute! My son is 17 and sometimes I think about the time when he was that little. I wasn’t biting my baby’s thighs or kissing him on the mouth though. I have always been a head kisser and I still do that, although it’s nice when families kiss each other on the lips. Also, why would you want to bite someone else’s baby? Babies are cute, but only your own baby is cute enough to nibble.
We don’t have any photos of Ilana’s baby and we don’t know her name, so here’s a photo of a model named Katherine Katherine Webb-McCarron and her baby, Gunnar, at five months old. I didn’t really know about her, but People had a story about her getting body shamed postpartum and I got heart eyes for that baby!
Kaavia James Union Wade at six months!!
Bindi Irwin’s ten-month-old baby, Grace:
photos via Instagram and credit: Avalon.red
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